Chapter 9 - Yuuki's nightmare part 1, Fan Fiction, Vampire Knight, Zero & Yuuki
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-- Chapter 9 - Yuuki's nightmare part 1 --
Zero walked down the corridor, absently toweling his hair after his shower. He’d meant to ask Yuuki why she was so withdrawn and quiet today, but the Chairman had towed him away for patrol duties after dinner, leaving Yuuki to clear up. By the time they’d returned, Yuuki had already washed the dishes, left her signature puddle of water on the floor near the sink (albeit a slightly smaller pool this time), and disappeared into her room.
As Zero neared the end of the corridor, he caught Yuuki’s sweet scent and realised she couldn’t be sleeping just yet. Sure enough, she was just about to go into her room, already dressed in her pyjamas. Absently, his eyes traveled over the matching set – light green with a pattern of little puppies on it… it wasn’t exactly the type of sleepwear a typical female teenager would wear – although he wasn’t sure about what that was - but it was exactly what Yuuki would wear, and he couldn’t imagine her in anything else, pyjama-wise.. unless it was something he owned… He quickly stopped his thoughts before they ran any further.
“Yuuki…”
Yuuki started then turned around. “Oh, Zero… going to sleep now?” her smile seemed a little forced tonight.
Zero walked over to her. “Yeah… hey, you OK?” he asked, frowning a little. He draped the towel around his neck, lightly holding both ends of the damp material as he waited for her reply.
Yuuki could smell the scent of Zero’s shampoo soap on him and she had a sudden urge to have him step closer and give her a hug. And she knew he would if she asked. But she shouldn’t burden him with her petty nightmares… after all, she wasn’t a child anymore. And she knew Zero had plenty of nightmares of his own to deal with.
“Yes, I – I’m fine. Goodnight, Zero…” said Yuuki, unaware that her voice and face lacked their usual cheerfulness. She didn’t wait for an answer before slipping inside her room and shutting the door.
Zero frowned. He’d have thought Yuuki would confide in him as she usually did…
Was it about school? They both hadn’t had detention for two weeks, which he supposed was a record in itself, and her grades were, as far as he could tell, no better or worse than they normally were…
Had the Chairman said something to upset her? That was even less likely – Chairman Cross doted on his adopted daughter and both he and Zero were normally unable to deny her almost anything…
Had Kuran said or done anything to upset her? Zero found himself clenching his fists tightly. If he had… After a moment, he recalled Chairman Cross mentioning during dinner that the pureblood leader was away for a couple of days on Council-related business and would only be back at the end of the week. Well, that was a piece of good news, he supposed, relaxing slightly.
No matter – he would just ask her tomorrow, that was all. Sighing, Zero murmured “Goodnight, Yuuki” even though she couldn’t hear him and went back to his own room.
- o -
The high pitched scream sounded not long after Zero had dropped off to sleep. He would’ve heard it earlier, only he hadn’t had his customary in-class nap that day. Hence, it took a while to filter through his consciousness before finally piercing his dreams and scattering them.
Once awake, Zero jerked upright in bed. That cry – it was Yuuki’s.
Swinging long legs to the floor, he stood up and strode swiftly to his door, yanking it open. The Chairman, in the kitchen for a drink of water, had heard the scream as well and, dressed in his familiar blue striped pyjamas and matching hat with bobble, walked past Zero and stopped outside Yuuki’s door, his glasses perched crookedly on his nose.
“Yuuki? Are you OK? What happened?” The Chairman knocked urgently on the door. He knocked again more urgently when he couldn’t hear any reply from her.
It was at times like this that Zero didn’t bother to knock – leaning past the older man, he merely reached for the doorknob and opened the door. Yellow light from the corridor spilled into Yuuki’s room and more light flooded the room as the Chairman’s hand found the light switch and flicked it a second later. Zero was already halfway across towards Yuuki’s bed by then.
She was thrashing about on her pillow, auburn strands clinging to her sweat dampened forehead and neck, her blanket tangled around her legs. “No - tell me why…” she muttered, then convulsed, covering her face with both hands, sobbing. Zero sat down beside her, shaking her shoulders.
“Yuuki, wake up!” Zero was conscious of the Chairman hovering at his shoulder and although he normally was more reticent with his emotions in front of the older man, he didn’t really care this time.
“C’mon Yuuki – please wake up…!” he said urgently, shaking her harder. He couldn’t bear to see Yuuki suffering in any way and her fear was starting to get to him. “Please!”
“Nooooooo!!” Yuuki screamed, before her eyes finally opened. Disoriented, panting, she stared at both of them in turn, her tear-drenched eyes wide with fear before recognition set in as she looked at the boy sitting beside her - jaw clenched, longish silver hair falling into amethyst eyes burning with concern - to the older man hovering behind him, concern and worry reflected in the slightly careworn bespectacled face. She shuddered suddenly.
Zero reached for Yuuki's upper arms and pulled her upright in order to hold her but the Chairman, his worried eyes on his daughter, absently pushed Zero away and sat down beside her. He placed a comforting arm around her shaking shoulders and turned her face into his shoulder.
Already on the verge of falling off the bed, Zero stood up rather uncertainly. He was frowning a little and belatedly realising he’d been very close to being openly affectionate towards Yuuki right in front of the Chairman.
Yuuki sobbed as she buried her face in her adopted father’s shoulder… but somehow it wasn’t enough. She didn’t want a paternal hug right now; she didn’t want a placating arm around her shoulders. She wanted to be hugged properly… she wanted to be enveloped in arms that would hold her as if they were completely loathe to let her go… she wanted to be held tightly against a familiar heartbeat that would soothe and comfort her… she wanted to hear the murmur of a low voice that held the power to calm her. She wanted quite simply, Zero’s embrace.
Tearfully, she stretched out a trembling hand towards him, raising her tear stained face at the same time. “Zero…? Hold me please?” she pleaded.
The Chairman looked completely nonplussed, his arm falling limply to his side as Zero sat on the other side of Yuuki, beside her pillow. Ignoring the older man completely, Zero lifted an unresisting Yuuki onto his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Yuuki buried her face in his left shoulder and wrapped her own arms around his back.
Zero, his lips pressed to Yuuki’s hair, glanced up at the Chairman over the top of her head, not surprised to see the older man’s face a study in amazement at both Yuuki’s request and Zero’s unexpected response to that request. Zero looked back steadily even though he could feel the heat traveling up his face. Well... now he knew, didn't he?
The Chairman blinked and slowly stood up. “Well, ah… I’ll make some hot chocolate then… Come to the kitchen, both of you, once – once Yuuki’s calmed down…” He hovered there for a moment, frowning slightly. He knew Zero was very fond of Yuuki, he just hadn’t really… seen… physical proof… of that before.
It was Yuuki, with her innocent exuberance and bubbly personality, who usually initiated any type of physical contact with Zero - be it a small fist hitting his arm or chest for teasing her, a casual hand on his shoulder when discussing her homework or to catch his attention, or even a spontaneous hug from behind whenever she felt like it. And Zero mostly just tolerated Yuuki's open demonstrations of affection. Well, in his presence at least…
But Zero had carried Yuuki twice, hadn’t he, during the two recent times when she’d fainted with high fever? Once on the school grounds, when he’d open his study door to see Zero and Kaname glaring daggers at each other over her unconscious form, and again when they’d come back from the recent All Soul's Day outing. And of course, they’d been physically close too, when dancing together recently. He now supposed there would have to have been other times as well, knowing that Yuuki willingly shared her blood with Zero, and having caught sight of his bite marks on her neck from time to time. His frown deepened.
Then as Zero buried his face in Yuuki’s hair once more, the Chairman turned and left the room, leaving the door ajar.
Zero saw but didn’t bother alleviating the initially lost and slightly hurt look in the older man’s eyes over the fact that his darling daughter very much preferred her adopted brother’s arms to his own. His mind also touched on the dawning suspicion reflected in the Chairman’s eyes at their apparent closeness but… Zero’s concern at this moment was for Yuuki and her alone…
Now he turned, lifting his legs onto the bed and leaned back against the pillows, letting Yuuki rest her head against his chest. His shirt was rapidly getting wet with her tears but he ignored it. Yuuki shifted upwards and Zero felt her nose pushing aside his pyjama shirt collar to bury her face in his neck and he couldn’t help the slight twitch of his lips. For some unfathomable reason, Yuuki seemed to like his scent and while he couldn’t understand it one bit – other than perhaps the fact that it offered a feeling of familiarity to her, having known each other for four years now – he couldn’t find anything to complain about it at all…
It was some time before Yuuki calmed down, but she kept her face buried in his shoulder. “I’m OK now” she murmured softly, sniffling a little.
Zero brushed a kiss on her hair. “You sure?” he asked.
“Uh-huh…”
Zero dropped another kiss on the auburn strands, reluctant to move. He sat up slowly, keeping his arms around her. “We should go, your dear Father is waiting for us…”
Yuuki braced herself with a hand on Zero’s chest as she swiped her other hand across her eyes. “I’m a mess” she muttered. Her hand encountered wet material and she looked at Zero’s soaked shirt front with consternation.
“Oh dear…” she began, lifting guilty eyes to his.
“Forget about it” Zero dismissed, giving Yuuki a small shove to make her stand before standing up himself. He waited while she pulled tissues from the box on her nightstand to mop up her tear stained face and blow her nose before saying “Let’s go…” He was reluctant to go to the kitchen but even more reluctant to have the Chairman come looking for them.
In the kitchen, the Chairman was sitting at the kitchen table, contemplating the three steaming mugs in front of him. He brightened when Yuuki entered the kitchen, Zero a step behind her. Fussing over Yuuki, he got her to sit down and placed a mug of hot chocolate in front of her. She accepted it with a nod of thanks but seemed reluctant to start speaking.
“Well, my dear, can you tell me… us… what it was about?” asked the Chairman gently, smiling at Yuuki over the top of his glasses. Zero’s eyebrow lifted slightly at being initially left out but he said nothing, sitting beside Yuuki and sipping at his own mug of hot chocolate. He grimaced slightly; Yuuki may not have been the Chairman’s biological father but surprisingly, they both shared the same sweet tooth…
The Chairman’s glance took in the wet patch on Zero’s pyjama shirt front without comment as he waited for Yuuki to speak.
“Uh…” Yuuki shot a glance at Zero and he had a sudden feeling that he was somehow involved in her nightmare.
“Well… it was about… Zero…” said Yuuki reluctantly, shooting him a rather apologetic glance.
“Zero?” echoed the Chairman blankly, looking from Yuuki to Zero and back to her again. Zero kept his face expressionless. Yuuki hesitated, staring into her mug as though the steam swirling up from it would present her with the words she needed to say… without making it too embarrassing for Zero.
Finally, she sighed and decided to get it over with. “Yes, about Zero” she confirmed. “He was… upset…”
“Upset?” echoed the Chairman for the second time, looking even more puzzled than before.
Yuuki sighed again. “Zero was crying… uncontrollably…” There – she’d said it. Her adopted father’s mouth dropped open and her adopted brother choked on a mouthful of hot chocolate. Perhaps the Chairman hadn’t seen him cry before but Yuuki certainly had… it had been quite uncontrollable as well and he would’ve bet his Bloody Rose gun it hadn’t been a pretty sight to boot…
“Er… well…” hedged the Chairman. His expression clearly said it wasn’t something to be having a nightmare over, only the fact that it had clearly upset Yuuki stopped him from actually saying so. “Don’t worry anymore about it. Zero is a big boy now, he can take care of himself…” he said soothingly in a ‘there there’ kind of tone and patted her hand comfortingly, if a little condescendingly.
There was a rather awkward silence in the kitchen now as the three of them drank more chocolate, not knowing what else to say. Then Yuuki smiled wanly at the Chairman. “It was just a nightmare, I’m OK now…” Putting down her mug, she added “I think I’ll go back to bed.” and stood up.
Her father beamed at her. “Good idea, Yuuki… I’ll come with – ”
“Zero will go with me, Father…” added Yuuki, interrupting the older man by placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. As he gaped up at her, Zero stood up without comment. He knew Yuuki had more things she wanted to say, only not in front of the Chairman. They left the kitchen together, leaving a rather despondent Chairman to say to no one in particular, “Don’t mind me, I’ll just clean up in here…”
Receiving no reply from either of them, a rather audible sniff followed that plaintive comment.
In her room, Yuuki hugged herself as Zero closed the door and slid the deadbolt home, not fancying any well-meaning interruptions from the Chairman. She turned around to regard Zero with her large brown eyes as he leaned back against the door.
“Was it was like before?” he asked and they both knew he was referring to their All Soul’s Day outing recently.
Yuuki shook her head rather distractedly. “It wasn’t like before, Zero, it was much worse than at your parents’ graves.” Yuuki’s large eyes were filled with tears of concern. “You weren’t just upset… you were… inconsolable… distraught...”
Zero’s eyebrows shot up. It honestly sounded rather melodramatic to him and he sought to dispel her fears. “Why, did Yuuki Cross decide not to let Zero Kiriyu drink her blood anymore?” he teased, hoping to get a smile out of her.
Yuuki frowned instead. “I’m serious, Zero!” she insisted, only just managing to stop herself from stamping a foot. Zero walked over to her. “Hey, I know…” he soothed. Placing his arms around her again, he pressed her head gently to his chest.
“Uh, your shirt’s still wet…”
“It’s OK…”
“No, it’s not, you’ll catch a cold…”
“Are you trying to get me to take it off then?”
Yuuki blushed, remembering what happened the last time he’d been in her room with his shirt off as well. “N-no, of course not! I – I just thought - ”
“Fine!” Zero’s long fingers made short work of unbuttoning his shirt and he shrugged it off seconds later, ignoring Yuuki’s squeak of surprise. “Hey, you can’t just…”
Zero ignored her, tossing his shirt carelessly onto the top of her nearby desk before hugging her again. Yuuki’s rather indignant gasp was lost as her cheek was pressed to his bare chest but she relaxed after hearing the thump of his heart against her ear. Tentatively, she wrapped her arms around him and they stood there in silence for a while.
“You breaking down like that… it scared me, Zero…” she whispered.
“Don’t be” he said softly, although he couldn’t help wondering what would make him break down like what she’d said. Nothing scared him now… well, nothing except perhaps… anything concerning Yuuki’s safety… or her happiness. Or both together.
A sudden thought came to him – was this the reason for Yuuki looking so unlike her usual self today? Had she dreamed about this before?
“Hey – this wasn’t the first time you had this nightmare, right?” he asked.
Yuuki kept silent. Zero pulled away slightly, loosening his hold on her. “Look at me, Yuuki” he said. Yuuki looked up reluctantly, pursing her lips slightly at his rather commanding tone.
“Did you dream this as well last night?” he asked.
Reluctantly, Yuuki nodded. Tonight’s one had been worse though… Slowly, she started speaking again.
“And then, I don’t know how or – or why, but you suddenly collapsed, right in front of me…” her voice faltered then she buried her face in his chest again, holding him even tighter. Her voice was muffled as she spoke again.
“I – I tried, but I couldn’t wake you up. I thought you had fainted… or something… but there was – was – no heartbeat…”
Yuuki broke off and shuddered again. “I thought you were dead, Zero…” she whispered brokenly then started crying again. Zero held her silently, his thoughts whirling. He hadn’t realised the nightmare had been so… dire… and the extent of her fear and concern for him was touching.
“I can’t bear it if anything happened to you” she whispered very softly.
“Nothing will…” he said, his voice tight with pain over her fear. There was a sudden pause as they both realised these words were a lie. But neither of them wanted to face that inevitable fact right now. So they both remained silent as they continued to hold on to each other.
After a while, Yuuki yawned against his chest. She hadn’t slept well at all last night and with her fears temporarily soothed by Zero’s warm arms and comforting presence, she was feeling sleepy now. Her arms dropped down to his waist as she leaned more heavily against him.
“Hey…” Zero shook her slightly. “You’d better get to bed before you fall asleep standing up.”
“Mmm…”
“Do you… do you want me to stay here tonight?” he asked softly, his arms still around her. He really shouldn’t - it was too risky, they ran the risk of being discovered by the Chairman each time. He couldn’t forget the look he saw in the older man’s eyes earlier… and he didn’t even want to think of the expression on the Chairman’s face if he ever caught them together in the same bed, never mind the fact whether or not anything else had happened.
Yuuki nodded without hesitation. “Please” she said simply.
Oh well.
“All right” Zero released her and gave her a little push towards the bed. “I’ll switch off the light.”
Yuuki got into bed, moving closer to the wall to give Zero more room. After he’d gotten into her bed and covered both of them with her blanket, Yuuki turned to face him, burying her face in his shoulder and resting one hand trustingly on his bare chest. Zero sighed soundlessly. There were quite a few things that Yuuki just didn’t seem to get and having a half naked guy in her bed should probably rank among the top three of that list… All the same, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, hugging her close to him. In two minutes, she was fast asleep.
Zero took a while little, his thoughts swirling through his mind as his hand caressed her shoulder absently, her cotton pyjama shirt soft under his palm and fingers. What could make him lose it like that, according to Yuuki? What the hell was he doing in her bed? Didn’t he have better sense? Did Yuuki really care so much about him that she could actually have nightmares about him being upset? She’d said before that she didn’t want him to die but was that simply because he was one of the main persons in her life? Did she have any idea how wonderful it felt to have her in his arms? Did Yuuki know how perfectly she fit into his arms, snuggled up like that? Did she have any inkling how he ached to kiss her? Not just on her sweet lips but everywhere… Did – did - Sighing, he muttered to himself, “I’m demented…”
He forced his mind to go blank and concentrated on slow, steady breathing until he finally dropped off to sleep.
-- End --
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